she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize