Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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