i barfeds in our rink
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
