i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
