32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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