Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize