so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
