How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
