I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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