I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
