you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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