So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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