Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
