Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
