The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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