why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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