There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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