Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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