you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
