I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
