yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
