I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
