They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This is my gift to your gina
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
