ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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