ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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