he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
