I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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