TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
