this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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