didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
