How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
