I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
