Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This girl is more easily done than said...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
