no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
