True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
