Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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