life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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