Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
