dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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