i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
