I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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