dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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