You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
