I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
