By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
