If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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