no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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