You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
