Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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