I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
