go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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