dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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