why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
