I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize