i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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