She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
