so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
