I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
