Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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