clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
