i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
