I'm so fucking centered right now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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