She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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