Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
