4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he wants to bone in the snuggie
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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