my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
