At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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